It was something my brother—now in his mid-fifties—once shared with me, framed as a kind of character-building milestone.  “It taught me resilience,”  he said, with a shrug that seemed to tuck the past neatly out of reach. He was just eleven when he started boarding school. Far from home, far from anything familiar, and—though it wouldn’t have been described this way back then—far from safety. One morning, he woke to the shock of being pinned down with boiling water being pou

I often reflect on how much of my life I’ve spent under the shadow of events that never actually happened. And when truly difficult moments did arrive, I survived. I coped. Yet the anxiety that preceded them often felt heavier than the events themselves. Anxiety is quietly cruel: it asks us to brace not only for the echoes of past pain but also for the imagined storms of the future, all while carrying the weight of fear itself. In a way, it asks us to battle twice—first with

There’s a heavy sadness that comes with feeling stuck in a relationship where nothing seems to change—where every day feels like a slow erosion of connection, hope, and joy. If you’ve ever felt invisible, dismissed, or emotionally alone with your partner despite sharing the same roof, you’re not alone. From the vantage point of counselling, there are moments when a client quietly confesses, “Nothing has changed. I don’t think it ever will.” This statement often carries more g

I was indulging in a moment of stillness — sitting in a sauna, which seems to be all the rage here in South Devon — during my much-needed Christmas break. No emails. No to-do lists. No emotional labour. Just heat, quiet, and the faint hope my brain might power down for five minutes. That peace didn’t last long. A woman in her seventies struck up a conversation and asked what I did for work. When I told her, she nodded knowingly and said, “I bet you’re busy. Everyone’s got a m

Starting something new can be exhilarating—but it can also trigger a hidden struggle many of us face: imposter syndrome. Last weekend, I...

During my training to become a therapist, the "therapeutic relationship" was heavily emphasised in our discussions and practical...

Recently, in a trial session with a client, she asked, “What is your perspective on feeling your feelings?”. I thought this was a...

Working with the inner critic in therapy involves identifying, understanding, and transforming the internalized voice that judges,...

Recognizing the roots of the inner crtiic which leads to low self-esteem is the first step towards transformation. If your confidence has...

One of the harshest aspects of mental health issues is that they rob us of the ability to believe that others might be suffering in the...

Understanding the concept of the inner child is crucial for grasping the challenges we face in our relationships, both personal or...

Growing up with a parent who has a mental illness can profoundly impact one's emotional and psychological well-being. The coping...

Christmas is frequently depicted as a season of happiness, unity, and festivity. Yet, for many individuals, it can also highlight the...

Mindfulness is a mental state attained by concentrating one's attention on the current moment, free from judgment. It involves being...

Little Red Riding Hood What was her mother thinking of To send her daughter on her way Into the woods alone that day? Was she so busy...

Relying on others' opinions to affirm self-worth often stems from feelings of shame, such as believing one is not “good enough” or...

Are you a qualified counsellor and thinking of setting up private practice? Overwhelmed? Don't know where to start? Feeling a little...

Shame is a natural aspect of being human and is among the most painful emotions we encounter. When experiencing shame, you are likely...

Clients who approach me with low self-esteem frequently feel detached from their authentic selves. After exploring the reasons behind...

“Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same...