top of page

Impacts of Parental Mental Health

Writer's picture: Deborah PleasantsDeborah Pleasants

Updated: Jan 27

Growing up with a parent who has a mental illness can profoundly impact one's emotional and psychological well-being. The coping mechanisms developed in childhood to deal with a parent's mental instability can be maladaptive and tend to persist into adulthood, often unnoticed by the individual. This blog explores the various interrelated impacts of parental mental health and how therapy can help.


A mother sits in distress while her child reaches out, highlighting the effects of parental mental health on family dynamics and the individual.
A mother sits in distress while her child reaches out, highlighting the effects of parental mental health on family dynamics and the individual.

Attachment Theory developed by John Bowlby, emphasizes the importance of early caregiver bonds in influencing a child's emotional and social development. Inconsistent parenting, characterized by unpredictable responses, can lead to insecure attachment styles in childhood which persist into adulthood. The subsequent behavioural effects of parental mental health are examples that contribute to unhealthy attachments, affecting relationships and emotional well-being:


Modeling Behavior: Children frequently mimic emotional responses such as anxiety, sadness, or anger that they observe at home. When they witness a parent reacting to stress with anxiety or sadness, they might learn to consider these responses as suitable ways to manage similar situations, possibly carrying these habits into adulthood. For example, a child observing anger in reaction to frustration might learn to express frustration in the same way, rather than employing healthier coping strategies. These patterns are reinforced by social environments and experiences, making them challenging to alter later in life.


Low Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem frequently originates from early childhood experiences, especially with parents who are emotionally unavailable or neglectful. This can result in feelings of inadequacy, feeling unlovable, and the belief that self-worth relies on parental approval. As a result, individuals may later engage in people-pleasing behaviors, seek validation and attention from others, which distorts their self-image and further destabilises confidence and a sense of self. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and difficulties in relationships due to poor communication and boundary-setting.


Caretaker / People Pleaser: Children raised in unstable households often become acutely aware of their caregivers' emotions, resulting in anxiety and unpredictability. They may feel compelled to maintain household harmony, assuming roles beyond their age and prioritizing others' needs over their own. This role reversal can include managing chores, comforting parents, or mediating conflicts. Driven by fear of conflict or rejection, these children anticipate needs to preserve peace. As adults, they might encounter difficulties with control issues, burnout, and resentment due to their people-pleasing tendencies. Again they often struggle with setting boundaries, leading to challenges in personal and professional areas. This behaviour can result in feelings of emptiness and loss of identity, as their self-worth is again tied to others' approval.

 

Increased Behavioural Problems: Inconsistent parenting creates insecurity and confusion, whick can lead to significant behavioural issues in children, including aggression, defiance, and social withdrawal. External stressors, like academic pressures and social challenges, compound the issue well into adulthood. Futhermore, adolescents might engage in risky behaviors like substance abuse to cope with life's difficulties. These behaviours are often influenced by their home environment, particularly if a parent struggles with addiction due to poor mental health. Adolescents may imitate these maladaptive coping strategies, using drugs or alcohol to manage stress or emotional pain. Substance use can appear normal within their social circles, increasing the risk of misuse or addiction into adulthood.


Emotional Dysregulation: Emotional dysregulation in children frequently originates from parents' inconsistent moods or erratic behaviors. Lacking parental examples of coping skills or emotional regulation, children may struggle to manage their emotions, leading to inappropriate expression or feeling overwhelmed. Ineffective family communication exacerbates the issue, as children do not learn healthy emotional expression, further reinforcing dysregulation. In adulthood, anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues can continue the cycle of emotional challenges that started in childhood.

 

Lack of Boundaries: Poor mental health can blur boundaries in family dynamics, affecting all members, especially children. Without clear boundaries, children struggle to differentiate acceptable behavior, hindering their development. Boundaries are crucial for a child's growth, helping them understand personal limits, fostering empathy, and encouraging self-discipline. This clarity enhances decision-making and creates a secure environment for emotional health. It also reduces confusion, leading to a harmonious household and healthier relationships with authority figures. Understanding boundaries benefits adult relationships, promoting accountability and personal responsibility.



How Counselling Can Help


The good news is that counselling offers professional insights and guidance, helping individuals navigate complex emotions and situations related to their parent's mental health.

Therapy can foster personal growth and development, allowing individuals to thrive despite a challenging upbringing.

Ultimately, therapy not only aids in the comprehension of the illness but also empowers individuals to cultivate healthier relationships and develop resilience in the face of familial or relationship challenges.


A supportive hand gently cradles a tree branch, symbolising the transformative power of counselling in fostering growth and change.
A supportive hand gently cradles a tree branch, symbolising the transformative power of counselling in fostering growth and change.

1. Enhanced Understanding

Therapy helps individuals grasp the complexities of their parent's mental illness, including its impact on family dynamics and personal experiences. Furthermore, therapy provides a safe and supportive space for individuals to process their feelings of confusion, anger, or sadness that may arise from living with a parent who struggles with mental health issues. It allows them to reflect on their personal experiences, helping them to articulate the ways in which their parent's condition has influenced their own development, coping mechanisms, and worldview.


2. Emotional Support

The therapeutic space is crucial for emotional healing, as it allows clients to confront and process their feelings without the fear of judgment or rejection. Moreover, a therapist serves as a calm and emotionally stable attachment figure, which is particularly beneficial for those who may not have experienced such support during their formative years. This stable attachment can help clients learn how to regulate their emotions more effectively, providing them with the tools to manage stress and navigate life's challenges. The bond formed between a therapist and client can foster trust, allowing individuals to delve deeper into their emotional landscapes and confront difficult truths. This relationship often serves as a corrective emotional experience, where clients can learn to build healthier attachments and improve their interpersonal relationships outside of therapy.


3. Compassion

Recognising that behaviours in adulthood have been shaped by adapting to parental needs from childhood can lead to a more compassionate approach to the issues one wants to change. When we begin to acknowledge that our current behaviours are often a reflection of our childhood adaptations, it becomes easier to approach ourselves and our struggles with empathy rather than judgement. This recognition can pave the way for positive change. By identifying the roots of our behaviours, we can consciously choose to unlearn harmful patterns and replace them with healthier alternatives. By reframing our understanding of these behaviours as adaptations rather than flaws, we can cultivate a more nurturing relationship with ourselves, opening the door to healing and personal growth.


4. Coping Strategies

A key objective of integrative therapy is to empower individuals to develop effective coping mechanisms. Integrative therapy employs a variety of techniques to assist individuals in improving their emotional regulation through effective coping methods, enabling them to handle symptoms such as stress, anxiety, anger, or depression. By combining therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, compassion-focused therapy, mindfulness, transactional analysis, and psychodynamic strategies, alongside a strong therapeutic alliance, it creates a supportive and enriching environment for personal growth and emotional resilience. This approach equips clients with effective coping mechanisms, allowing them to better manage and alleviate symptoms such as stress, anxiety, anger, depression, isolation and rejection.


5. Improved Relationships

Therapy can significantly enhance interpersonal relationships by addressing and resolving various communication problems that often arise in personal interactions. One of the primary focuses of therapy is to equip individuals with essential conflict resolution skills, which are crucial for navigating the complexities of human relationships. Through guided sessions, clients learn to identify their own communication styles and understand how these styles affect their interactions with others. This self-awareness is instrumental in fostering healthier dialogues, reducing misunderstandings, and promoting more effective exchanges of thoughts and feelings.


6. Self-Discovery & Resilience

Therapy encourages self-exploration, allowing individuals to identify their needs, desires, and goals without parental influence. It fosters a sense of self by promoting an understanding of personal values, beliefs, and objectives. By sharing their experiences and emotions with a therapist's support, individuals can gain clarity about their identity and purpose, leading to more authentic interactions with themselves and others. As they develop this deeper self-understanding, self esteem improves and they become more adept at navigating life's complexities, resulting in improved relationships, greater emotional stability, and enhanced resilience to handle future challenges.


7. Breaking the Cycle

Poor mental health can be passed down through generations, creating a cycle that can be difficult to break. This intergenerational transmission of mental health issues often stems from a combination of genetic predispositions, environmental factors, and learned behaviors. Clients frequently articulate their desires for change by expressing sentiments such as, "I want to break the cycle" or "I want to change things for my children." These statements reflect a deep awareness of the impact that their own mental health struggles may have on their offspring, as well as a strong motivation to foster a healthier environment for the next generation. Clients can learn effective coping strategies that not only benefit their own mental health but also serve as valuable tools they can pass on to their children.

By addressing and transforming these patterns in therapy, clients can create a legacy of resilience and emotional well-being, ultimately leading to a positive shift in family dynamics and a brighter future for generations to come.

 

Comments


Commenting has been turned off.

©2025 by Deborah Pleasants

bottom of page