When Imposter Syndrome Hits: A Counsellor’s Reflection

Starting something new can be exhilarating—but it can also trigger a hidden struggle many of us face: imposter syndrome. Last weekend, I dove into a new training course, eager to learn and connect with peers, only to find myself suddenly overwhelmed by self-doubt. Even with years of experience and personal growth, I felt exposed, unskilled, and completely inadequate. This is the quiet ache of imposter syndrome—an invisible weight that whispers we’re not enough, no matter how much we achieve.

Soaring above the clouds, the plane symbolises the journey beyond self-doubt, much like overcoming imposter syndrome.

The Quiet Ache of Imposter Syndrome: A Counsellor’s Reflection

I was excited to dive back into learning, meet fellow counsellors, and develop new skills. Anxiety didn’t even cross my mind until we began triads, and my skills were being observed in a group setting. That’s when imposter syndrome hit me like a ten-ton truck!

My body took over: sweating, shaking, and my mind went completely blank. And then the sabotaging thoughts arrived: Why am I even on this course? The other therapists are so much more skilled and competent. Am I capable enough? Suddenly, all my previous experience felt meaningless. It was like being on a plane during turbulence—I panicked, thought I might pass out, and irrationally feared I could even die.

Seriously? After all the work I’ve done with clients, and all the personal work I’ve done on myself—was I really spiralling down this rabbit hole of self-doubt? The self-doubt I often help clients navigate? It felt so hypocritical.

What Imposter Syndrome Feels Like

On the outside, others may see your skills, achievements, and the ways you show up for people. But internally, imposter syndrome can feel like standing on shaky ground, waiting for the moment when everyone realises you “don’t belong” or aren’t good enough or worse – you are a fraud.

It often whispers exhausting undercurrent of self doubt:

• “I only succeeded because I got lucky.”

• “If I don’t work twice as hard, I’ll be exposed.”

• “Everyone else is smarter, more capable, more deserving than me.”

• “If I make a mistake, it will show I’m incompetent.”

• “If it’s not perfect, it’s a failure.”

• “I must never show weakness or vulnerability.”

• “If I fail, it will ruin everything.”

•  “One mistake will expose me as incompetent.”

Where It Comes From

Imposter syndrome doesn’t emerge from nowhere. For many, it begins early: perhaps in homes where love or approval felt conditional, or in environments of constant comparison. Perfectionism fuels the fire, making nothing ever feel “enough.”

1. Early Life Experiences

• Conditional approval: Feeling that love or praise depended on achievements can create a lifelong sense of “never enough.”

• High parental expectations: Constant comparison or pressure for excellence can unintentionally nurture self-doubt.

• Lack of validation: Growing up without recognition for effort may make it hard to trust your abilities later.

  
  

2. Perfectionism

• Setting impossibly high standards sets the stage for chronic self-criticism.

• Inevitably falling short is interpreted as failure.

• This “never enough” mindset becomes fertile ground for imposter feelings.

  
  

3. Cultural and Social Influences

• Societal pressures and social media comparisons can heighten self-doubt.

• Competitive workplaces or constant evaluation reinforce feelings of inadequacy.

• Being in a minority or underrepresented group may intensify the need to prove oneself.

  
  

4. Cognitive Distortions

• Discounting success by attributing it to luck.

• Catastrophizing, or fearing any mistake will “expose” incompetence.

• Comparing oneself unfairly to others.

  
  

Navigating the Challenge

Next week, I have to return to the course – notice I “have” to! I’m consciously working on expanding my “window of tolerance,” reminding myself that I am not on a plane about to crash. My ego’s drive to “do it perfectly” is a reaction to feeling inadequate— and through years of psychodynamic personal therapy, I understand where it comes from.

I will be drawing on my toolbox—mindfulness, CBT, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Compassion-Focused Therapy—to ground myself and relate to this young part - to realise its part of me and not the entirety of me. I will use my aeroplane to go upwards and onwards and not downwards into decent! AND perhaps the gold in this experience is empathy: I have been given a reminder to truly understand what my clients feel when they experience their own version of imposter syndrome.

If this resonates with you, hear this clearly: you are not alone. Students, parents, professionals, leaders—and yes, even counsellors—carry these same feelings. Experiencing imposter syndrome doesn’t mean you’re weak or undeserving; it simply means you’re human - lets work on it.........