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Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) & Counselling

Writer's picture: Deborah PleasantsDeborah Pleasants

Updated: Jan 27



Little Red Riding Hood


What was her mother thinking of

To send her daughter on her way

Into the woods alone that day?

Was she so busy with her chores

She did not see those vulpine jaws?

Where the protective mother love?

What was her mother thinking of?

 

What was Red Riding Hood about?

To wander off into the woods,

Her basket packed up full of goods

Was there no friend, au pair or nanny

To go with her to visit her Granny?

Why did she not protest and shout?

What was Red Riding Hood about?

 

And where was Daddy on that day?

Did he not see his daughter go,

And rush outside and call out, “NO!

I’ll take the food for you, my child

The woods are dangerous and wild

You stay at home, have fun and play…”

So where was Daddy on that day?

 

And why did Granny live out there?

If she was ill and stuck in bed

Could she not live with them instead?

Or have a nurse, live in a home

Not in the woods there, all alone

No shops or friends, and wolves that scare

So why did Granny live out there?

 

Why does this story make me so mad?

I want to take her parents on

And tell them that the whole thing’s wrong

Red Riding Hood should be protected

Secure and cherished, not neglected

Abandoned by both mum and dad

That’s why this story makes me mad!

 

Apparently, it all came good

The story turns out fine and dandy –

The woodcutter came in very handy

Justice was done, the world was dead

And all the good guys won, its said

That child was rescued in the wood

Apparently, it all came out good

 

If only it were always true

That rescuers turn up to fight

And put those nasty wolves to flight

That child, innocent and sweet

Can be protected from deceit

There must be more than we can do?

If only it were always true

 

And so I want to rage and shout

And let my deep frustrations out

Wanting to cry “Never again!”

Trying to rid the world of pain

But take a closer look and see

That lost and lonely child

Is me…….



Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are distressing incidents that happen before turning 18. These may involve abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), neglect (emotional, physical), household issues (divorce, substance abuse, violence, incarceration), among others.

 

 Our actions are profoundly influenced by our past experiences, which shape our perceptions, reactions, and overall behavior in significant ways. ACEs, such as trauma, neglect, or abuse, can leave lasting imprints on an individual’s psyche, often manifesting as maladaptive behaviors in adulthood. If we have encountered ACEs, our future relies heavily on the critical process of not only acknowledging but also effectively processing these negative past experiences. This involves a deep reflection on how these experiences have impacted our emotional and psychological well-being, as well as our interpersonal relationships. It is crucial to address current maladaptive behaviors that may stem from these past traumas, as they can hinder our ability to develop healthy relationships and make sound decisions. To progress towards making the right changes and decisions for a more positive future, it is essential to engage in a journey of healing and self-discovery. This therapeutic process can be challenging and painful, as it requires confronting difficult emotions and memories that may have been buried for years. However, the rewards of this journey are immeasurable, leading to personal growth and a healthier mindset.


I recognise that each client brings their own unique set of circumstances, experiences, and behaviors to the counseling process. Therefore, my relationship with my clients is founded on a strong foundation of trust and empathy. I strive to create a safe, non-judgmental environment where clients feel comfortable exploring their thoughts and feelings. This therapeutic alliance is vital, as it allows for open dialogue and encourages clients to share their experiences without fear of criticism or misunderstanding. Listening and providing unwavering support every step of the way is central to my approach. Each session is tailored to the individual needs of my clients, ensuring that they feel heard and validated. Together, we work through the complexities of their experiences, gradually unraveling the layers of pain and confusion that may have accumulated over time. Through this collaborative effort, clients can begin to rewrite their narratives, transforming their past into a source of strength rather than a burden. Ultimately, the goal is to empower clients to reclaim their lives, make informed choices, and foster a sense of hope for a brighter, more fulfilling future…... 




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©2025 by Deborah Pleasants

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